A New Beginning
Welcome to my first blog post here. My name is Thomas, as I write this I am 36 and hopefully it will stay that way before I finish this post.
I am originally from a small town on the east side of Ireland called Leixlip (or Leim on Bhradain in Irish) which is famous for being a small viking settlement beside the river Liffey that flows through to the capital city of Dublin. It is a place where salmon like to jump up river but also it is the original home of Arthur Guinness where his descendants still reside today.
So here I am in a small quaint village in Switzerland starting all over again, with a new love, a new family, a new place to call home and a new language to learn in the process. I left my old life behind as it simply was not serving me anymore. My old lifestyle, old friends and old habits became extremely stale and it just wasn't working for me anymore.
I am also a Divorcee, a process which I must say took so much out of me that I thought I could never restart again. Despite that I still desired happiness again so a big change had to come. Luckily for me it did in an extraordinary way but also it took quite a lot of time which was badly needed. Time to lick old wounds, time to heal, time to re-frame what I really wanted and time to allow myself to let go of the past and move onto something new without holding onto those old wounds.
At some point I realized that real change means changing what hasn't worked and pushing myself to face challenges and obstacles head on instead bringing what hasn't worked somewhere else which can be so easy to fall into. By doing the same things as before it's just inevitable that the same things would happen, history would repeat itself and it was just a matter of when rather than how. So something big had to change for me but first and foremost before all that could happen I had to change the way I thought, I had to change my own mindset before something new, something better could come in.
While still in Ireland I began with facing the things that really made me unhappy, my weight being the first major obstacle. Over a ten year period I had gained so much weight that I couldn't even recognize who I was anymore. It became so problematic that it effected how I saw myself but also how I interacted with others. So I made a promise to myself that I would make that my first change and within 6 months, most of which were gruelling and extremely tough. In those 6 months had managed to lose 42kg/100Ibs which was absolutely amazing. Those that were worth my time would offered me words of encouragement while those that werent became evident during my struggles. I was a heart attack waiting to happen before that point and by being able to coach myself to do that I felt like I could do anything.
Later I decided to become a life coach mainly because I seemed to be very good at helping others overcome their issues. But it soon became apparent that I needed this not for anyone else but for me. I got used to doing things for other people and the time had come for me to coach myself before I could coach anyone else and lead by example. My thoughts were "If I could do it for myself then so can you". In order for me to truly help others I had to help myself first and foremost. If I wanted real change then it starts with me and then I can be a living example of how it can be done.
The next step was facing my fear of making first steps to meet with and interact with new people so I signed up to take comedy classes with the hope of doing a live stand up set at the end of it. Half way through I realized that I was actually better at this than I expected so I approached comedy clubs directly myself to get on stage with my own material. I did two completely different sets in two different comedy clubs and got laughs at both which was truly exhilarating. This was just before the corona virus problem really hit home and closed everything. Two of my proudest moments and that involved me taking the initiative and making the decision to want something for myself and to make a change for my own well-being.
Bringing in a new way of thinking takes time and mistakes will be made in the process, wanting change is the first step, knowing what that change looks like is the next and taking action on that change is the next step after that. Taking things step by step and not being too hard on myself if I came up short became imperative. Over time I developed a tendency to come down on myself with a ton of bricks if something was not perfect and soon realized that this approach wasn't really helping anyone especially myself. Being satisfied with making progress is what really helped me.
So here I am in a new country with a new start with the woman of my dreams and a family, Something I couldn't even imagine happening a year previously. How was I able to bring this in? The answer to that lays within myself. A willingness for something better, a willingness to let go and a willingness to move forward and a belief that I could do it. On my journey I realized that I could manifest the life I wanted if I focused on the right things that serve me rather than what I don't have in this very moment. By focusing on what I wanted and living as though I already have it the right people will come in and the right circumstance will present itself and that is exactly what happened despite it coming during the height of the corona virus in 2020. This has been a memorable year for all the wrong reasons for most people but for me it had been life changing for all the right reasons.
Yes it's not going to be always sunshine and roses but if it's something you truly want then you will find a way to make it work. Granted some things are out of our control but what we should intend to do is your best to make it work and really that's what it takes. To make something work is about focusing on what you want and getting to where you're going one step at a time, focusing on what you do have rather than what we don't and being open to the good possibilities to come in. Holding onto an old way of thinking, how has it served you in the past? Does it serve your future or can you make space for a different way? Can you make space for growth? What change and bring in for you? How can that change happen if you do not change how you think?
If you want real change then it begins with you, no one else. If you want to stay the same then expect the same results. However if you want something new, something different then it is up to you to take action on that.